The colours of bullying

What is bullying?

Let’s start with a reminder of the Acas guidance on bullying …

There is no legal definition of bullying, it can be described as unwanted behaviour from a person or group that is either:

• offensive, intimidating, malicious or insulting
• an abuse or misuse of power that undermines, humiliates, or causes physical or emotional harm to someone

So, to be clear, its not always about what you intend, but whether what you say or do is ‘unwanted’.

Are our ‘reds’ bullies or bullied?

Reds (High D) are known for being a bit ‘bullish’, doing their own thing, saying at times what others don’t dare to say, having a few too many opinions, challenging the status quo, adventuring into unchartered territory and definitely not being a natural team player.

When accused of bullying

Common phrases we hear include: “They were too loud,” “I felt intimidated,” “He’s arrogant,” “She rushed the decision,” “Her ego is too big,” “They ignored my opinions,” “He steamrolled my feelings,” “Their decisions didn’t consider my/our needs,” and “Who are they to tell me how it should be?”.

In their defence, we see reds being blindsided in investigations. They are unclear why their plain speaking communication style is at fault when they are saying what others are thinking, ensuring clarity. Reds are employed to be doers, focusing on results through their tough personality. Interestingly, allegations against the reds are often made by people who view them as fair game, especially if they are in management or leadership roles.

It’s our observation that the bulk of grievances raised in the workplace are raised against people who don’t have a natural people focus, a softer side to them. This of course includes many ‘reds’.

Top tips for ‘reds’ to avoid allegations of bullying:

With yellows: avoid being blunt, soften the feedback, make sure not to damage the relationship

With blues: don’t forget the detail which blues value if you are asking them to make decisions. Give blues time to make decisions, don’t rush them. Don’t ask them to compromise the quality.

With greens: don’t just focus on the individual but remember the greens often have a team/group focus. If you are going to change things, let them know in advance and give an opportunity for input. Avoid abrupt changes and surprises.

Are our ‘yellows’ bullies or bullied?

Our yellows are generally our people ‘people’, the noisy heart of the open plan office or canteen.

There aren’t too many formal grievances raised against yellows. This can be attributed to the fact that while they can irritate their colleagues just as much as the reds can, they often do so with a smile on their face, a friendly demeanour and sufficient charm to dissuade any unhappy camper from bringing some sort of complaint against them.

However, yellows can be bullied out of a business/team, generally as a result of a group of quieter people coming together to criticise their hectic approach to work and their endless chatter.

In the same way, yellows don’t often raise grievances. Perhaps their sociability means that small irritations and frustrations are raised at an early stage and so it never progresses into bigger issues requiring a formal complaint to be made. Is there something to be said for ensuring no one in our team lose the ability to communicate face to face if we want to have a conflict free working environment? Perhaps the yellows can help show us the way?

Are our ‘greens’ bullies or bullied?

The greens tend to cluster together, and work as a team. Their power is often in their numbers and they tend to stick together.

The greens like the status quo, they value relationships, they like to be consulted and included and they are sociable beings. At work, they are dependable and reliable making them valuable within any organisation.

The greens are sometimes on the receiving end of bullying. Their tendency to introversion can result in some extroverts making negative assumptions about their capabilities, or intelligence, which would no doubt to some, feel like bullying.

They also have a tendency to seek to carry the load in a team, working harder and longer than others at times. This approach of reliability and dependability can result in them feeling that others are taking advantage and not appreciating or thanking them enough. Not being appreciated is the driver for a number of grievances and complaints I have seen, with resentment sometimes building up over a long period of time, decades even!

While the greens can feel under appreciated, they can also be guilty of not appreciating what others bring to the team. Greens can sometimes ‘gang up’ on reds, blues and even yellows who are upsetting them in some way. Some greens believe that the world would be better if everyone was a green! Interestingly, while greens might say that reds can be intimidating, a group of greens who come together to voice their displeasure or dislike about one person can be hugely intimidating.

Are the ‘blues’ bullies or bullied?

With immense pride in the quality of their work, their attention to detail, the smooth running of their schedules and their independence … albeit with a bit of a tendency to be stand offish with ‘intruders’, the blues are regularly on the receiving end of bullying claims.

In a world where we emphasise the importance of people and communication, the blues and the reds who often focus on work first, people second, are regularly criticised.

What complaints are thrown at the blues?

The blues are often criticised for their resistance to change (often waiting to hear the logic of the change before buying in), their tendency to point out what is not working rather than what is working, or their perceived ‘nit picking’ which of course is them doing what they do best – ensuring a quality output.

I also see them being bullied for not being outgoing enough or for being introverts, which means they like to reflect before answering questions or concerns. It’s not unknown for them to take a few days or even a week to give an answer to a question put to them, which might later be reflected back by someone under pressure or feeling stressed with an accusation of ‘uncooperative’ or ‘obstructive’.

In turn though, our blues can be overly critical of others at times, resulting in colleagues or their managers feeling bullied. Their focus on task not person can result in hurt feelings, damaged relationships and walls going up.

A few tips to the blues to reduce the complaints

Reds might feel bullied by blues when they are being criticised or mocked for not understanding the details or not having done the meeting prep as the blue has diligently done. Blues might benefit from taking time to understand/accept that quality and accuracy is not everyone’s driver.

Yellows might feel bullied by blues who can criticise the lack of logic when they over sell or are over optimistic about deadlines etc. The blues might highlight what they haven’t done well rather than recognise what they did do well.

Greens might feel bullied by blues when they don’t show enough people understanding, or emotion, or reject someone wanting to be more tactile with them. Their blunt language can be off putting for some and as such reflected back as ‘bullying’.

In summary

We can all bully others and feel bullied ourselves simply because we assume everyone is – or ought to be – just like us. But if we genuinely value diversity and differences let’s take time to understand how personality differences can create frustrations and conflict. If we take the time to learn how we might be sensitive to different personalities and also how others might view us as the bully at times, then we can all take steps to reduce workplace conflict.

How we can help

We are all incredibly complex. At work, this can have a huge impact upon productivity, team effectiveness, client and team relationships and employee morale. 

Psychometric (personality) profiling is a tool that can help us understand each other a little better. If you’d like to find out more about how personality profiling or training on this topic can help you better understand your team, get in touch.