Coaching vs training: a battle of egos?

I’m on the receiving end of a lot of coaching enquiries right now, but I sometimes feel the person asking might be better served by attending training.

I have nothing against coaching, and I’m a qualified coach myself, but we need to be a little careful about the trend I see emerging…

I’m too senior to attend training with others, I need one-to-one coaching
I don’t do well in groups so prefer coaching
Training isn’t specific enough to address my needs
I don’t have time for training, coaching is more time effective
I don’t want others to know I have development needs and coaching is discreet

Let’s address these…

I‘m too senior to attend training with others, I need one-to-one coaching

It’s exceedingly dangerous for senior team members to remove themselves from the training room because they believe they know it all, or because they feel their needs are different to others. In my experience, the danger comes in numerous ways:

Missing out on an opportunity to learn and fill knowledge gaps, which in an ideal world might have been filled many years earlier. Too many directors have knowledge gaps that cause them to expose their organisations to complaints and litigation, or that result in a senior team that’s not as effective as it could be. We’re never too senior to learn.
Missing out on an opportunity to listen to managers’ (or employees) issues/pain points within the organisation – knowing what’s going on in an organisation is essential for senior team members to understand what the priorities are.
Failing to gain insight into what other people don’t know. It can be quite astonishing to find out that some don’t grasp some of the basics in their own business simply because no one ever thought to teach them or share with them. As one person famously put it to me at Jaluch a few years ago… “what do we actually sell?”
Losing an opportunity to be visible and accessible
Creating a belief that training is for the masses and coaching is for the elite.

I don’t do well in groups of people, so prefer coaching

Remote working, in my view, is slowly killing social skills. Yes, we can all still communicate with one another, but we’re losing the ability to really connect and it’s the connections that help us collaborate, innovate, problem solve and work successfully as a team. Allowing someone to remove themselves yet again from team or group interaction is simply storing up more problems for the future. Acknowledge that they find it uncomfortable, but assert how important it’s that we all learn together.

You can also make the training more introvert and neurodiverse friendly, rather than remove those who find it more difficult from the training environment. Consider smaller group exercises, advance notice of topics and exercises, a variety of activities applicable to all different learning styles etc.

Training isn’t specific enough to address my needs

What I’ve learnt about people on training courses across a 30 year career is that a lot of people don’t really understand or accept what their actual training needs are. In general we don’t know what we don’t know and we often act in blissful ignorance of learning that might just help us with whatever nut we’re trying to crack.

If people identify a specific piece of learning or development for themselves and arrange coaching for that, they may be in danger of missing a whole heap of other learning that would be equally valuable.

What I also don’t see people accepting often enough, is that all of our development is joined up. If we want to develop negotiation skills, we might also need to develop influencing skills, our effective communication skills, personal presentation skills, understanding of financial terms, commercial awareness, stress management and so on. No one training course can sit in a bubble all on its own. Our ability to apply what we’ve learnt will be impacted by all of the other skills we have. When I’m asked for 3 coaching sessions across a 3 month period on a stand alone topic, provided I agree not to make the person paying my bills too uncomfortable along the way, my heart sinks as I know that the real issue that needs addressing will seldom be the issue they identify for themselves for coaching. What I’m doing much of the time is providing just another employment benefit alongside their life assurance and discounted gym that makes them feel important and valued.

I don’t have time for training, coaching is more time effective

Yes it can be, but we need to be very careful as the training that used to be delivered across 3 days, then got cut down to 1 day, then to half a day and now its either 90 min lunch and learn, an eLearning course or a couple of coaching sessions. I was lucky enough to be put through a 3 day assertiveness skills course early in my career, but nowadays I worry about those who are just redirected to a webinar or 3 minute YouTube clip. Without the training I had, learning and practising skills in a safe environment, I genuinely believe it would have taken me longer to properly get going in my career.

I have nothing against lunch and learn sessions, eLearning or coaching, but if we take the approach that our development needs to be squeezed into as little time as possible, we’re hardly entering into a period of self-development that is going to change the course of our career. I would prefer someone to say “this month I’m going to be working on my ability to manage stress. As part of that I have one group training session to attend that I am going to back up with one hour of coaching. I have plans to watch a few Ted Talks too, read a few articles about rewiring my brain to deal with stress and my brother bought me a book on how to relax. Hopefully with all of that combined I’m going to make some real progress this next month”.

If you start with the mindset that coaching will be a quick route to development, you may be really disappointed.

A recent coachee arrived 10 mins late for his one hour session, this being the third occasion he had arrived late and as always he then embarked on the sorry tale of why he was late and why he had had no time to implement the actions we had agreed at our last session. Another 10 minutes gone. Yes coaching is really needed, he would gush, I am really struggling here after my recent promotion, it’s just that I’m too busy and work is tough you know etc. What I shame I wasn’t coaching him on accountability! I genuinely believe he would have taken his development opportunity more seriously if he had been learning alongside others, sharing his challenges, hearing others’ challenges and at the end of the day going back into his workplace knowing that others would know what session he’d attended.

I don’t want others to know I have development needs and coaching is discreet

There is little I can say about this one. Yes, very occasionally this will be a valid reason, but more often that not this will be said by someone who hasn’t yet learnt the value of showing vulnerability or losing their ego. Secret learning in my experience seldom results in great development as we lose all the support, extra learning and sharing that can come from others. That said, better some learning, than no learning!

So….

The coaching industry is soaring but at the same time so is dissatisfaction with organisations increasingly saying it brings too little value, changes few behaviours and is simply not giving sufficient return on investment. So we need to proceed with caution and make sure that coaching – and other training opportunities – are set up in a way that delivers the necessary value. We need to be careful that it is skilled trainers and managers who decide what the appropriate training mechanism/tool is rather than it being a free for all. And for me personally I have been learning bits and pieces across a 30+ year career and all of that builds and builds to make the person I am today with the skill set I have today.

I would love us to talk more about the lifetime learning journey, rather than a one off course or coaching session. Would that work for you?

Interested in what we do?

If you want to talk to us about coaching, training or anything else in-between, get in-touch, we’d love to discuss your needs further.

📩 If you liked this article and want more, sign-up to receive free fortnightly updates from us.

Disclaimer: The information contained within this article is for general guidance only and represents our understanding of employment and associated law and employee relations issues as at the date of publication. Jaluch Limited, or any of its directors or employees, cannot be held responsible for any action or inaction taken in reliance upon the contents. Specific advice should be sought on all individual matters.

AUTHOR DETAILS

Helen Jamieson

Jaluch MD