We often hear how people want to be their ‘authentic self’ at work. In a world of individuality and valuing differences, we all strive to be included and inclusive, and being accepted for who you are is an important part of this.
Utopia in this context is a world where everyone can bring their unfiltered self to work, and everyone loves them for it. But let’s take a moment to explore authenticity from a more practical point of view.
What employers mean by authenticity v what might be understood
Before you start reading, we want to note that these examples may feel like ‘worst case scenarios’. While the majority of people may not act or feel like this, we know from experience that you will always come across some people that do.
| Don’t feel you have to pretend all is okay if you’re going through the menopause or another health issue. | I can bring my personal stresses and issues into work with the expectation I will be supported by everyone, especially my manager. |
| If you’re off sick because you’re stressed, don’t say you’ve got flu. It’s okay to say you are stressed. | If others feel uncomfortable with what I say then that’s on them, not me. It’s important to speak ‘my truth’. |
| We value variety of skin colour, ethnicity, age, health, nationality, religion, belief, sexuality, gender, etc so don’t ever feel a need to align yourself with the majority or feel we want you to be something you’re not. | It’s my right to share my strong beliefs at work, even where they might create upset, conflict or discord. |
| There’s no need to feel you must be an extrovert if you’re not. Introverts have many strengths, and we value them. | I will never be made to follow processes, procedures or instructions that make me feel uncomfortable. |
| If you disagree, it’s important to say so rather than lead others to believe you’re in agreement. We want you to be honest, so we can discuss what matters. | Rules, processes and procedures will be adapted as appropriate to accommodate my interests/needs. |
So, what does authenticity at work really mean?
Authenticity in the workplace is about being the real you, but also being self-aware enough to understand how much of the ‘real’ you to reveal and when.
We’ve given a wide definition for employers above, but here’s a slightly narrower (in some ways) one from Hewlin et al 2020:
Authenticity at work means feeling able to express or operate in accordance with one’s genuine values, beliefs, motivations, culture, and personality, among colleagues, managers, clients, and other stakeholders equally.
In the training we provide on assertiveness, we go one step further than this and talk about rights and responsibilities. We believe that with every ‘right’ we have at work e.g. to be authentic, we also have a ‘responsibility’.
Responsibility is about ‘adult’ authenticity or ‘emotionally mature’ authenticity. Whatever words you use to describe it. A responsibility when we bring our authentic selves to work to be considerate to others, not to bully them; to be responsive to their feelings; to think before we speak; to ensure our words don’t intimidate; to do what is asked of us at work etc. In our view, this is an adult approach to authenticity.
Rights and responsibilities always go hand in hand
We have a right to share our strongly held views on the environment, but a responsibility to do it in a way that isn’t considered domineering or aggressive.
We have a right to say if something, such as a policy or procedure, feels uncomfortable, but we have a legal and professional responsibility to operate in a way that’s respectful towards our manager and considerate of the needs of the team.
We have a right to express our discomfort at being asked to develop our assertiveness, but we have a responsibility to do what is required to develop our soft skills, including our assertiveness, if that is relevant to our role and career expectations.
What all employers need to make clear to staff is that a drive for authenticity is not all encompassing, and anything goes. Don’t damage your carefully created culture by being too soft on those who take advantage.
Here are a few ‘authentic’ behaviours that can cause consternation and should be left at home:
- Anger – it is your right to be angry but don’t bring that anger into work. Calm professionalism please.
- Saviour or Rescuer – it is your right to love to rescue others or to voice upset on behalf of someone else, but there is no place for this in the adult workplace. Let your colleagues speak for themselves.
- Judgement – it is your right to enjoy being judgemental, but it is not a helpful behaviour and often causes upset and harm, so please don’t do this at work.
- The coffee bean – If you are someone who’s permanently on edge, jumping from task to task, and twitchy through excessive caffeine, that’s okay. But it’s a bit disruptive for your colleagues, so try to limit your coffee intake.
- The narcissist – ugh – no room in any team or organisation for the ‘me, me, me’ person who thinks only of themselves and often puts others down in the process.
- The ‘invisible’ one – we know it might feel safe, but we don’t want anyone to feel ‘invisible’. Whatever role, or rank in an organisation, let us help you find your confidence and place, so you feel seen and heard.
- The chip – chips are for the deep fat fryer. If you have a chip on your shoulder it’s wearying for those around you. Leave the chips at home and bring your best self to work.
And finally…
All too often we hear managers feel unprepared for the complex job of managing staff. How to have a sensitive conversation without being accused of bullying? How to give tough feedback without worrying you will be named in some grievance claim?
What is your business doing to prepare and support them?
How we can help…
We can run a variety of management skills training courses to develop your managers competence, or provide support if you have any HR related questions. For those of you new to Jaluch we do support on both a retained and ad hoc basis so if you are contract weary or wary please do ask us about ad hoc support and we will be delighted to share what we do. Get in touch to talk to one of the team.